Supportive traits are like great personal assistants that help us navigate through life’s challenges more smoothly. From handling day-to-day responsibilities to tackling complex issues, we often and consciously rely on these trusted aides—our supportive traits—knowing that they are capable and reliable at what they do. Ultimately, living in the absence of our supportive traits is akin to losing both our arms; we would struggle tremendously to function without them.

Your habits shape your identity,
and your identity shapes your habits.

James Clear

As our supportive traits come naturally to us, we tend to employ them effortlessly, as if we are writing and drawing with our dominant hand. Therefore, we often take our supportive traits for granted, not realizing how valuable they are to someone of a different archetype. If left unchecked, we might even run the risk of overusing them, preventing other parts of ourselves from flourishing.

Like our dominant traits, our supportive traits are simply facets of our personalities. Whether they are strengths or weaknesses is entirely dependent on the way we utilize them. If we cultivate and develop our supportive traits well, they can become valuable additions to our toolbox of super strengths. However, if we use them in an unhealthy manner, the same traits will ultimately lead to our undoing.

Like lemon wedges adding zest to salad, Connectors too add life to conversations. With an interesting outlook on things, they blow a breath of fresh air into every discussion they are in. As they can sense the vibe of the room, they often bounce ideas off people to break the ice whenever it's getting cold. Because of that, Connectors never fail to crank up the gears of creativity, spurring discussions that allow playful imagination to flourish.

Unfortunately, they tend to do a pretty bad job when it comes to keeping discussions on track. While they are exchanging ideas with others, they often get distracted by random thoughts, causing their minds to wander off into different wavelengths. Before they know it, they've derailed the entire conversation, leading it far away from the original topic. If Connectors don't catch themselves doing this, their discussions will always lead to nowhere.

Sometimes, Connectors might even go overboard, as if on a sugar high. Energized by the continuous back and forth of ideas, they can get pretty charged up over the course of a discussion. Little by little, they gradually step off the brakes of their creativity, letting their imagination grow wilder and wilder. Before long, they might flood the discussion with ideas that are absolutely ridiculous. Connectors who are like this will stick out like a sore thumb, leaving others annoyed.

As heavy as the storms of life may be, Connectors are often willing to risk themselves to save those lost at sea. Like a lighthouse, they guide others through the darkness, bringing out the best in the souls they have touched. Being chronic optimists, they inspire by illuminating the endless possibilities that can be brought to life. Whatever happens, they will always be there to shoulder the weight of their communities, radiating positivity wherever they can.

On the other hand, Connectors who spread themselves too thin might actually end up helping no one. Reluctant to let others down, some will agree to lend a hand to all, even though they know they are unable to. They make empty promises in order to please others at the moment, and to save face. When people finally call them out for not fulfilling their end of the bargain, Connectors will be exposed as a fraud, and their reputation will be stained.

If the heat of expectation continues to rise, Connectors will surely hit their boiling point. When that happens, they will explode, turning from their usual cheerful self into a dark gloomy cloud. Some may complain about the lack of appreciation while others might demand some time alone. At their worst, they may even swear off helping others. So while their desire to serve is deserving of praise, Connectors must not push themselves past the point of no return.

Where there are people, there is surely conflict. Luckily, Connectors can resolve them without breaking a sweat. Having a knack for dealing with social situations, they often know how to douse the fire of any heated argument. When they sense a conflict looming on the horizon, they will quickly step in to diffuse the tension before it gets out of hand. With Connectors around, everyone can rest assured knowing that everything is going to be okay.

However, they often struggle when they have to tell people what they actually need to hear. To avoid offending others, Connectors may beat around the bush, reluctant to say anything that will make them look like the bad guy. As such, they might succeed in preserving their precious image of a nice person but the problem they were trying to resolve remains. It's fine to be kind and polite, but Connectors can't truly help anyone if they are too afraid to speak the truth.

At their worst, some Connectors may lack a firm stance on anything. Instead, they mindlessly agree with the consensus regardless of their true feelings or thoughts. To avoid sparking an argument, they often adopt the opinions of whoever they are with, even if they don't actually believe in them. If Connectors continue to sway wherever the wind, others will eventually see them as nothing more than fakes.

Thus far, we have explored both the Connector's dominant and supportive traits. In our jargon, these traits are known as one's heroic traits. Think about it, don't we all look like heroes when we put these traits to use? Not just wannabe heroes, but real ones—those who are truly powerful yet unimpressed with their own abilities.

Superhuman strength and the ability to fly are awesome superpowers that we all wished we had. But Superman doesn't pride himself in any of those abilities. To him, using those powers to save the world is just another day on the job. Similarly, even though we are great at our dominant and supportive traits, we do not find them the least bit amazing. From our perspective, there is nothing special about these mundane things that we do every day.

That said, as heroic as our traits may seem, no hero in the world is perfect. Even the most powerful heroes, such as Naruto, Thor, or Wonder Woman, have their own flaws and weaknesses. However, that does not invalidate them as heroes; it only makes them all the more admirable. The same goes for our own heroic traits. They may not be perfect, but our strive to improve them is what sets us apart.

I am not a hero. I just did what any
decent person would have done.

Miep Gies

When our heroic traits bask in the light, they will inevitably cast shadows—traits that we tend to neglect. Our shadows are foreign to us, as they are the complete opposite of our natural traits. Because we fear what we don't understand, most of us will subconsciously push away or suppress these parts of ourselves. Unfortunately, if we allow the fear of failure to overpower our minds, these suppressed shadows will eventually swallow us whole.

Nevertheless, shadows are not our weaknesses. They are simply parts of ourselves that we are unfamiliar with, and therefore, would rather avoid. But if we harness our shadows, they will eventually become our hidden strengths. It may be daunting at first to explore these dark and unknown parts of ourselves. However, with a curious mind and a compassionate heart, there's nothing to be afraid of. With that said, let us venture deep into the shadows within us.

Read next section →
Shadows Within [Connector]